I'm a noob...

I'm a noob.  For some reason riding in packs seems scary.  I'm moderately intimidated when I walk into cycling shops.  My bike costs less than my car.  I'm not a part of any cycling club.  My cycling "gear" doesn't match.  I stare at carbon fiber frames with a good amount of envy as if they will make me go faster.  Climbing over 3,000 ft. in a ride still seems like a good achievement for me.  Strava tells me that somewhere between 40% and 80% of the Strava Universe is better than me.  I don't even want to talk about my BMI.  In short, I'm a noob.