My Holy Grail...bottom bracket stiffness?

Maybe it's because I'm 200 pounds, maybe it's because I'm lazy, maybe it's because I'm over-analytical but I seem to think a lot about bottom bracket stiffness.  I don't even know how to determine if I feel "wag" but I do know that going up hill, out of the saddle, the bike feels a little squishy.  The wife doesn't feel anything like "wag" or the bike being "squishy" but it might have to do with her whopping 94.5 pound weight.  Regardless, I sit there looking at massive carbon fiber bottom brackets thinking about all of the energy that I'm losing while grinding my way up a hill.  Does that make me crazy?  Probably.  I'm supposed to be out there exercising, it has to burn more calories having an inefficient frame, all it does is hypothetically lower my already low Strava times.  









Is this more or less sane that being a weight weenie?